Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Everything Is Just So Big

 What I am talking about is my clothes. 

I know it's a great problem. I have lost weight and my clothes are to big. To the point that I'm having flashbacks to junior high and my friend getting her pants pulled down by a boy in front of a lot of people. Not a pleasant memory. Don't get me wrong after having two kids being able to pee fast is a good thing. I just don't want them to fall down on their own. That's just the bottoms, the tops are to big also. I am always moving the shirt so my bra straps are not showing. Or the "girls" (I'm talking about my boobs. Yes I could have just said that but for future reference, "girls" means boobs), are not all out for everyone to see. 

I don't have a full length mirror to really see what I look like. This is a good and a bad thing all wrapped up in one. Good because I know I have more to lose and I don't want to truly see how much. Bad because I have lost weight and I need to be happy with how I look right now. I do start to wonder if I look messy, unkempt, or even frumpy? Do I still look big because the clothes do not fit right? It could be as simple as going to get new clothes that fit. I have issue with that also. Some women like to go shopping, some hate it. I am in the hate it group. Also I'm still losing weight and I don't want to get anything to tight.

 There is a fine line between something fitting 
or it being a sausage casing, people. 

A great example of this is when I went to my friends store. I was helping her clean up her back room. She found a childern's size large tee shirt and held it up to me. I joked and said "oh that would totally fit me". The next thing I know it's getting put over my head and she is putting it on me!! Guess what, it fit. Even over my shirt that I had on that was BIG on me. Now I'm not saying it's a shirt I would wear outside, in public, around anyone that has a cell phone.....but it fit. My friend even laughed and said it's very slimming. I didn't believe her. She told me to go look in the mirror. I did and then started to laugh, she was right. Wow, I didn't look all that bad in it. The thought, I really should have stuck with that AB challenge came to mind. I was able to take it off with out to much trouble. Now that I would say was a sausage casing, with a shirt on underneath it. 

With not really knowing what I look like it's so hard to judge what size I would be in without trying everything on. Just one more example. I started a new job. We have a uniform that we have to wear. I had to buy shirts. They, of course do not have any you can try on before ordering them. I told the lady from HR what size I thought that I needed. Extra Large. She told me that I should probably go with a Large. Oh ok well she knows that the shirts look like and how they fit. I went with the large. Well the large was to big. I traded them in for MEDIUMS!! Mediums people! I have no idea the last time I was a medium. 

So when do I go buy the smaller sizes? When using a belt doesn't help anymore? When everything is now work out clothes because they cover my booty? Oh, when I can put both girls in one of my shirts together when they are being mean to one another? 

It's not cellulite it's my body's way of saying "I'm sexy" in braille. 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Mr. & Mrs. No Longer

We have filed for divorce and in a couple days it will be final.

This will not come to a surprise to my close friends and family that I have reached out to. Why the need/want to share it publicly? Because I have people in my life, and Chris's, that feel the need to speak into our lives about things they do not know about or understand. No one truly knows what happens in a marriage that ends. Can you really point to one thing that made everything else change? I would say yes, if he abused me in some way. That's not the case. Chris and I have been together for 17 years. We both want different things and we have known that for a very long time. 

We grew up and grew apart. 

We have been talking about it for a while now. Well maybe I have been talking about it for a while and he has just listened to it. We have been to a counselor to try to work out some of our issues. One of the earlier appointments, she told me that I needed to figure out what makes me happy, that I HAD to pick something. "You can no longer look to him to make you happy". That really was a light bulb moment for me. I couldn't ignore it. I had to listen to her. For my marriage and more importantly, myself. I started to do things that I had been wanting to do but didn't because he never wanted to do them. I made plans with friends and kept them. I started a class online. I refocused on my Type 2. I found a new place to live that was closer to the girls schools, closer to family, with three bedrooms and a dish washer! That first week I ran five times. My bike was even dusted off! I started to sing again.

What happened wasn't planned. 

I really did go into this with hope that we could figure this out. I took my vows very seriously and was trying to do everything I could to make it work. We worked on the budget together. We even had date nights. We continued going to see the counselor, we still are. There just comes a time in life that you know that what ever you do, nothing is going to fix it. That doesn't mean that we don't have love for each other. It just means that it's just not enough to stay together. I found a part of myself that I lost a lot of years ago. That part of me isn't ok with going through life not happy. I want a chance to stand on my own two feet and do life the way I want to. That means without being married. 

All that being said. This is not going to be the typical divorce. We don't hate each other. We are trying to make this co-parenting thing work. We made these kids together and we are going to do the best to still raise them together. So you might see us together as a family still. No that doesn't mean we are back together or working on it. It means we have enough respect for each other to hang out as a family. 

I'm not and with the help of Chris, wanting to tell everyone this so more people can tell us what they think we should do. Right or wrong, we are doing what is right for us. I really hope everyone can respect that. 

Starts With Goodbye by Carrie Underwood

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Kim Possible: Hall Closet

Another project DONE!! 

I don't know, have I told you how much I LOVE doing this? 
So I forgot to take a before picture of the top of the closet. Which is sad because it was a mess!! Here they are as close to the before as I can get. 

So this is what is looks like now.
I went through the games and we put the rest of them in another closet.
Something about them being collectors items.....

Bubbles and a lot of summer items.
Laundry soap and drier balls.

Norwex body cloths.
Wash cloths and hand towels.

Pool and bath towels. 

Toilet paper, paper towels, that bucket doesn't belong there. :/
Pop and my love, my Shark!! Don't look to close, he needs a bath!

This is the other side. See I told you I started before taking a picture!!
Darn my excitement!! 

A couple coats, my backpack, (my love),
reusable bags and my gift wrap/birthday decorations cart.

These were also in the closet.
On the top left before the games got moved there.
I will tell you this took me a lot longer than I thought it was going to. It's such a small area but has so much going on with it. I really want to take the doors off. Although I'm pretty sure I would be killed in my sleep if I asked Chris to put one, well two more things in storage. I have a couple small projects to take care of before going to bed tonight. I might have taken a basket that was being used for something else for this area. :) So I either find a new home for the stuff or I sleep on top of extra sheets and blankets and a shower curtain. :/ 

Here is the AFTER:

Not sure what is going on with the top of the picture.
I have the games up there and my camera stand.
Left orange tub, all the summer stuff, right tub pool towels.
The white one has light bulbs and extension cords.  
These work out so much better!
The brown baskets are holding all of my Norwex cloths, wash cloths, and hand towels. 
I might add, with plenty of room! Next shelf, the basket is holding my laundry soap and drier balls. My bath towels, I promise we have more. They are just in the bathroom.
Yes, that's a lot of pop. No it doesn't make me happy.
The two blue buckets are holding plastic bags and reusable bags.
I MIGHT have a lot more reusable bags in my car......

As you can see I have my gift wrap/birthday decorations on the top shelf. With a basket in front of the drawers. I have toilet paper and paper towels in there. So when I do need to get to the cart it will not be an issue. A few coats and a few extra hangers for friends and family. 

Chris took my vacuum to clean Avery's room so I didn't take a picture of it in there. Just know there is a lot of room for him now. I even have a couple of floor mats in there ready when we have wet shoes. I am so happy how this turned out.

Like really, really happy!

 It's hard to move into a new space and get everything in working order. We have been here since the middle of May. This is the second time I have done this closet. Now my question to you is, how long have you lived in your home? Do you have areas that just do not work for you? What frustrates you about them? Do you think you need a little help getting them to work for you and your family?  I can help. :D