Friday, March 28, 2014


My Facebook account has been deactivated by me. 

I had been wanting to do it for a while. At church they had challenged us to give something up and I hadn't done it. I was getting pretty crabby about the way Facebook was choosing what I got to see anyway. I would pop onto the app on my kindle and I would see things that I didn't see while on my laptop. I would pop onto my cell and see all old posts. It was annoying. I was bored and would spend a lot of time on reading the same things over and over again. I was even getting frustrated at what some people were posting. I was getting sick of this being the only way I was talking to my friends. So many changes have been happening and Facebook is not the place to be airing it all, or any of it. I need to reconnect with the people that I want in my life and that's not been happening. Add this to Chris being upset that I was on my laptop all the time. Equals me getting rid of Facebook for a while. 

I thought that it would be easy. I was mad at it for the first couple of days so it was easy then. Then day four or five I thought to myself. Wow it's been so long since I have been on Facebook. When did I deactivate it? It's only been FIVE days. Oh my gosh, I have issues. I also thought oh I will just pop on for a minute, see if anyone missed me. Nope I'm not going to do that. 

I figured this would be a good time to get some packing done. Well I am out of packing tape, so that's not going to happen right now. I should start making my bed everyday again. I have been doing ok on that one. My kitchen has been cleaner then it has been on a regular bases. We have even had dinner at the table again, a few times. I've started on my smash book. I have caught up on all of my shows on the DVR. I have gotten through Pretty Little Lairs seasons 1-3, but I started that before getting rid of FB. I am just waiting for Season four on Netflix now. 

What I should be doing with all this time? 
Cleaning the bathroom, the girls room, my room. Getting my list together for the store so I can get more packing tape..... 
A whole bunch of things that I am not doing that's what. 

I know that I will have Facebook out of my system once I stop thinking, Oh that would be a funny post. Or saying, don't make me post that on Facebook.
What has happened to our lives that Facebook has become a multiple times, everyday, part of the family thing?

This was almost four years ago. 
Maybe a new family picture should also be on the list of things to do?


Monday, March 24, 2014

Baby Blanket Wreath

It only took me three years but it's finally done!!

Pinterest should be banned from my home. Although if it was I wouldn't have found yummy food to make and cheap ways to decorating my home. So maybe not banned but limited? LOL. Since this was the first time doing something like this I had no idea how much fabric I would need. I went to Walmart and got four more fabrics that went with Avery's receiving blankets. I was so pumped when I got home. I set out to cutting the fabric up. I didn't know then I would have a sore arm for days and I wouldn't get back to it three years. You see this is what I was using.
Do you remember these? From Creative Memories. 
Good for cutting paper, not so much for fabric!! 

Fast forward to having a great group of friends and a place to craft. I brought this wreath project over and a friend showed me the most amazing tool in the whole world!!! 

This wonderful amazing tool is from Fiskars!!! 
I looked in the scrap booking tools for it, I don't know why.
It's in by the fabric area and maybe 12.00.

So now that I had the prefect tool, I was ready to go. It didn't take very long to get the rest of the blankets and fabric cut. 

I had piles and piles and piles of strips. 

I don't even know how many I cut. I have quite a lot left. Maybe I will make smaller ones later. ;) I started out just doing one fabric at a time. Tying the fabric in knots, one row at a time. 
Good use of a hair clip right?

It got a bit crazy. So I changed things up and just pushing them over as I went a long. Knotting the fabric from the top to the bottom wire one at a time. 
One pattern done seven more to go!! 

This is the back. I used a lot of strips. You really don't have to use that much. I thought that I was using all of the fabric and wouldn't have any leftover. So that's why I went a little crazy. 
Not looking to bad. Two down, six more to go! 

To tell the truth, this still took me a while to finish. I don't remember how much time it took, but I had years already in it. So I figured if it took me a week to get all the stripes on the wreath that was fine with me. I don't even know if Avery will want it up in her room once it's done. Which is fine, I love the colors and will put it up in my craft area. 
This is on the back of my front door. You can just make out the peep hole by the green. Well that would be center, I was a little off when I took the picture. It's a big wreath, very big. I wish that I could have a better picture to see the patterns. This project was something that I really enjoyed, once I had the right tools. ;) I have a lot more of Avery's baby blankets and I see more of these being made soon. 

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Stay Married

Last month at my church the talk centered around marriage. The title of the talk was "Who the (Bleep) did I marry". It has been great re-learning somethings, (a lot of things) and knowing that I am doing ok in others. Pastor Dave showed us a picture that showed a triangle and at the bottom left it said Husband, bottom right Wife with an arrow going between. The arrows both from the husband and wife up to the point which said God. The whole meaning behind it was. If you want to grow closer to your partner grow closer to God. 

I have not kept it from anyone that Chris and I have had hard seasons in our marriage. We have been married for over 15 years, so yeah we are going to have issues. We happen to be going through one in the last few months.  

I hold grudges. 

If I have felt like I wasn't treated fairly then I am mad. I have been feeling this way for many years. I think that marriage is a give and take and I have felt like I have given a lot more. Now with going through these last few weeks of the talk at church. I know that I need to let it go. That I need to move forward and not let that hold me back. I have taken my vows seriously, and I am not giving up on my marriage. That being said, I have no idea how to do it. 

No kidding. 

Just this morning I was telling Chris how in high school, I had went to the CLC Vocational campus to learn how to do hair. I was in the bathroom during a break and I had an adult teacher pull me out of the stall and tell me to come with her. (She wouldn't even let me wash my hands) She takes me into the hall and in front of the principle and my instructor tells them I was smoking in the bathroom. Now this is where I was about to flip out, even now I am pissed. I don't smoke, I have never smoked, and never would. 

She lied. 

She lied to my principle. She lied to my instructor. She lied about me. An adult teacher. Now I understand, everyone makes mistakes. This was not a mistake, this was a bold face lie. (Yup, I can feel my blood pressure raising) How could an adult say that about me? She didn't know me. She didn't even see me with a cigarette. Not only did she lie, she never did say sorry for lying about me. You might be thinking, that was, well a long time ago. We do not need to talk numbers. I should let it go. Maybe even let it roll off my back? I just don't know how. Do I write a letter, then burn it? I can say, I forgive the teacher but what I really want to do is find her and yell at her. 

So how do I let go? How do I not let the past dictate my future? How do I get to the point of forgiving that teacher, and most important Chris? My Pastor also talked about when he and his wife were first married. How his wife really didn't "need" him to much. That he was free to hang out with friends, and do what ever. Then with in the first couple of years of marriage they had a baby. Even then she really didn't "need" him. Once they had a second baby, things changed. She did need him more. He needed to change. Now I know that I am missing pieces of his lesson. I will add a link to the post down below. It's worth the time to listen to all of the weeks but since I am talking about this one. I will make sure to have it down there. The point I am trying to make is. I know that Chris is no longer the person he was back then. I know that he made mistakes that he wouldn't now. So how do I let him not have to re-live them when ever I get mad? How do I not bring up the past? Doesn't the past dictate the future? To not repeat history you have to learn from it. What happens when the lesson is not learned and you have all that history to back it up? How do you let that go? I do not know. 

What I do know is this.

I will be drawing closer to God. I will be re-watching the series videos. I will be praying that I can truly forgive and forget. I will be googling bible passages. AND I will be working hard to apply everything that I have, and will be learning. 

Here is the link to the talk.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

MOVING; Start Packing Day

I have waited for this day for almost four years. 
I would dream about it. 
Plan it. 
Talk about how I was going to do it. 

Now that it's here. I am not as happy as I was going to be. I miss my Mom, Chris and I have been fighting, and I am just not feeling good. 
Depression can do that. 
I know that it's going to be much better place. It's the whole process of getting everything packed. Then unpacked. The stress that goes along with that. I don't feel like cleaning this place knowing that in a few short weeks I will have to be deep clean it again to get our security deposit back. We have never gotten the whole thing back so I feel like it's the holy grail. I would finally be able to get away from the people that smoke. Although I don't know the new neighbors and things could be just as bad. 

I would feel better if I had a plan how to pack. A step by step plan on what I should pack now, then once we get closer. The only advice that I have gotten was. 
"Make friends with people lifting weights at the gym" 
"If your tired of packing just tell yourself that you 
don't want to the rest of your stuff anyway" 
Well I did find one good piece of advice. When packing use different colors for each room. Then the boxes get put in the right place right away. 

We do need to buy things for the new place. A bed for Avery and lamps for the bedrooms. I'm sure more storage pieces also. I have figured out that I don't like to buy things for the place that we are not living in for the rest of our lives. Does that make sense? I would look at all the pretty things that 31 has to offer. I want to get all of it, well most of it. :D I stop though knowing that I don't know if the bags, boxes or totes, I get will work in the space that I am moving into. There I think that makes sense. 

OK So now I need to focus on the good things so I can get off the couch and start packing. 

1) The girls will have their own rooms, with doors that can be closed. 

2) The kitchen is BIG!! I think I will have more than four drawers!! AND a dish washer! 

3) The laundry is 1.50 cheaper per load. 

4) The storage is bigger, now Chris said this. I wouldn't know. 

5) We will be saving a lot of gas and time. Meaning, Avery will be able to nap and I will not have to wake her up to pick up Whitney. 

6) I even have a couple friends that are within walking distance.

Now I need to focus on this instead of worrying about all the rest of the stuff I didn't write about. :(