Friday, July 19, 2013

Week in Review

The week is almost over so I figured I would update everyone on how it is going. Today is the last day of S.T.E.M. camp for Whitney. She is loving it, she met two new friends and is looking forward to start in September. 

Avery got sick in the car for the first time in a very long time. First time in the new car. She is feeling better now. We have been getting a little cabin fever with it being so hot outside. She has turned into a crazy child. I got her some water colors and now almost everything has been painted. 

Chris got a bigger fish tank a few weeks ago. This week he has lost three out of five fish. He has been super busy at work and signed up for a mud run in August. 

As for me, I have been working out more this week then I have in a while. I am so proud of myself. I have been running on the track!! Yesterday my breathing was really good. I am not going to break any time records, yet!! 

Thanks for stopping by!! 

I Love Being A Girl

I really do. We get to wear make-up, we have fun clothes, and smell good. Not to say boys don't have fun clothes and smell good. I've never been a boy so I know what I like, and I like being a girl. This being said, I went through my make-up today. I needed to get rid of the colors of lipstick that I never use, and everything expired. I have just found this girl on YouTube that I love. I have watched her put on her foundation I don't even know how many times. Wow that might sound creepy. So I will explain. She does how to videos on YouTube. She is the reason why I got three new make up brushes and concealer. Now when I look at myself in the mirror I like what I see. Well after I do my make up. I'm not coming down on myself. I have rosacea. So it seemed that what ever I did, the red still came through. Now that I have learned again how to put my make up on, it's not bad. I still will never need blush!! 

I have taken all of my make up, brushes, and other tools out of the bathroom and brought them into my room. I think that I am walking a thin line here. Avery is four now and is tall enough to reach everything on my dresser. So I might be regretting this any day now. I made the move due to the one bathroom. Someone is always in there and to tell you the truth it gets really hot in there after a shower. Now that I am in my room I can have a fan blowing on me if I want! I feel so girly with everything in little jars and baskets. I need to put a mirror up and then I am good to go. For now. Hahaha. I like to change things around so given a little bit of time and some time Pinterest stalking I will make it prettier. 

My humble amount of girly stuff. 

Monday, July 15, 2013

What Do You Say?

A while ago Whitney told us a child at her school called her a mistake. I know this child, her parents and where she lives. Thank God I was in a public place when Whitney told me what this child said, or I would have done something about it. This child told Whitney that, because Chris and I were not married when we made her, she was a mistake. My heart just broke, so I told her. Not ever, not even for one minute has she been a mistake. To never have any doubt in her mind that Chris and I both wanted, and still want her. She is ours to keep, even when she doesn't want us around. Gosh, what do you say to your baby when they tell you something like that?

I thought talking to her about her period and what to expect with that was hard. I thought talking to her about sex was hard, but this. Being told that she was a mistake by some child, that probably was a mistake. Sorry that was my anger talking. What do you say to reassure her that she was, is and always be wanted. She is fifteen and doesn't listen to half of what we tell her. Did she believe me when I told her that we wanted her? Did my anger towards that child come through when I was talking to her? Does she doubt my love for her every time I have to tell over and over to do something? Or when we do not let her do something with her friends? Being a parent is hard. I know there will be a time in my life that I will wish with everything that I could go back to the beginning of the teenage years. 

The next thing I am struggling with is what is allowed with the boyfriend? He will come over to hang out and I will let them sit on the same couch. I catch Whitney snuggling into him. I do something to make it stop. They have not kissed, they have held hands and hugged. He is very shy. Which I am grateful for. Whitney has already had her first kiss. A while ago. So I am in no hurry for her to be doing anything else. They are never left alone so that is a little less stressful. I was her age and I know exactly what can happen when left alone. I know there will be a point in her life that she will do things that I am not ready for her to do. I have told her that Chris and I did not come into this marriage pure, and that is not what I want for her. Marriage is hard enough with out having to deal with that. 

So what do you say to your child to make sure they know that they were and are wanted? What do you do when you see that they are getting a little to close to the boyfriend or girlfriend? I am so out of my comfort zone. 

Thursday, July 11, 2013

It Will Happen When It Happens

My most favorite words while trying to get pregnant again, not really. What about, all you have to do is relax, go away for the weekend, have a glass of wine. I had a hard time getting pregnant for the second time and if you have ever had a issue with getting pregnant. Those are the words you never want to hear. It will happen when it happens. You know them to be true, but will bite off the head of the person saying them to you. The truth was we did stop trying after potty training Whitney. Once I found out that she didn't remember any of it, I told Chris OK let's do this!!

For the second time around I kind of remember when we were supposed to be "going it" but it wasn't happening. I went to the Obgyn, she told me I was much thinner with my first kid and that I should lose weight. Ah well, that wasn't very nice. Fat people get pregnant all the time! So I stopped going to her for that reason and others. Next step was to take my temp, before getting out of bed, and track it. That's when I discovered that my base line temp is lower than average. So for the first couple of days I thought the thermometer was broken. We got a different one, then I thought that one was broken also. So I gave up taking it. When I talked to my Mom she told me she too had a lower than average temp. OK, great so I went back to taking it. The whole deal is to wait until you have a temp, then have sex. Let's just say, I didn't do it right. Every time I would be one day late I would test. I had gotten one of those books, you know the what to expect ones. This was a notebook that I could record the tests that I took, Dr.  visits and a whole lot of other stuff. I had it for a couple of years and was very excited to finally use it. Well I stopped putting in all of the negative pregnancy test that I took and just left the last one open in hopes that maybe down the road I would be able to fill it in. 

Nine years after I had Whitney I got pregnant again but didn't know. I was about a month along when I had a miscarriage. July 4th 2008. That was the hardest news to hear. A regular ultrasound, a level two ultrasound, and a blood test to tell me yes I was pregnant but I no longer had the baby. Then the words, "well that wasn't your baby. It wasn't meant to be." I think are some of the most horrible words to say second to the when it happens, it happens. 

A few months later I did get pregnant again. This time I went to the Dr. and only told Chris and Whitney. It was Chris that needed to be banned from telling everyone. I wanted to wait, what if I miscarried again? Chris didn't give me much of a choice. I went into his work after a check up and his co-workers asked if they could come congratulate me. I was upset with him for telling anyone outside of our family. Although it was nice to finally be able to say I was carrying again. 

I was nervous, freaking out and happy all at the same time. Whitney had been an only for so long. Will she be upset that she will have to share us now? Will I remember what to do? We had nothing from when Whitney was a baby. I had to be talked into registering. I didn't think that it was right to ask people for baby stuff when I already had a baby. Chris had so much fun with the scanner though. He picked out all pink stuff. We didn't even know if we were having a girl. He told everyone that he was going to be "blessed with two girls."  

I had a great pregnancy. I would do it again and again, IF I knew I was going to have the same experience. Chris, Whitney, the new car seat and I all headed to the hospital. We didn't call the Dr. because I thought for sure I wasn't going to have her yet. She would be early, by nine days! Come to find out that sound that I heard sitting down on my couch was my water breaking. We were not going anywhere! I had a great time during labor. I got the good drugs and didn't feel a thing until my Dr. finally showed catch. 

June 2009 I brought Avery into the world a little after 9PM. I was in labor for about 6 hours. 

My Whitney holding my Avery. 
My Loves, My Heart. 

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Round Is A Shape

It's not a mystery that I am over weight. When I step on the Wii fit and it says "OH, that's obese". Or when I tell everyone that I'm in shape and they look at me sideways. Round is a shape, people. If you have read my blog you will know that I am Type 2. That it was just a few months ago that I found out. The whole family then joined the gym. I love going. The smell of the pool makes me happy. When I am going farther then I have before I start to smile. I love the way it feels. I am proud of myself. 

It's when I try things like the elliptical for 10 minutes to only discover that I am really not ready for it! Another example, when one of my skinny friends tells me I should do lunges with her. All the way around the track. Then again I have that light bulb moment that I am still not ready. For days I hurt. DAYS people. Not just until the next day or when ever fit people feel better. DAYS!! I went to the gym, first time in a while, shh don't tell anyone, on Wednesday. It's now Saturday and I still can not get up without sounding like an old man. I mean a very old man! Never mind what I look like! The pain in my thighs, wow. That's all I can say. Now if I could just stand for the next day or so I will be fine. It's when I need to sit to pee that I really start to re-think my friendships with skinny people. 

Chris and I got to talking about the end of July. I have signed up for a 5K. He said to me, are you going to be ready? So at this point I gave him the look that said. This is coming from the guy that signing up for the Chicago Marathon without running since high school. THEN didn't even finish half of it? Hmm?  Yeah, thanks for the support honey! I get it though. He really is looking out for me. He has seen me after the elliptical and the lunges so he might know what he is talking about. 

So am I ready? To run three miles? Outside, where people can see me? I can say without hesitation that no I'm not. Will I be ready? Heck yes!! I have enough time to get myself there. I have the support of my friends that will be there doing it with me. There will be things that I need to work on. Like breathing. Yes breathing would be a good thing to be doing while running. Chris was telling me something about a four beat song. I gave him the look that said. Look buddy I know your crazy and you know your crazy. You have to show me what your talking about. By the way, my looks say a lot!! I learn by doing. He lost me when he said, what you need to do is... 

So pray for me. That I get to the gym and train like I am supposed to. That I watch what I eat. Also that I do not hurt myself anymore. 

I have a doctor appointment the week after the 5K. So I will be looking forward to the scale and maybe even cutting back on my meds. 

Thursday, July 4, 2013


People annoy me. I am in a few of garage sale sites on Facebook. The people that go on there are dumb. I see a post that says pick up in a bla city when your not even in the same city that your posting in. Why are you in this group? One you are 30 minutes away. Two you are in another state. Three if your not willing to meet half way you shouldn't be in the group!! 

Another thing that drives me nuts. The people that use coupons then re-sell those items on the sites. I can always tell when there is a good coupon. I start seeing those items show up on the site. All I want to say to them is. Will you take my coupons for them? Since you cleared the shelf to then turn around and sell them to make money on people that do not know any better? I can't get away from them either. Every site that I am on, some new yahoo is on there selling their stock pile stuff. 

Oh and to the people that are posting all their baked goods. This is a GARAGE sale site!!! Not a BAKE sale site. Go Away!! One, why are you in this group? Two, where are you baking this stuff? Three, are you licensed, checked out by the health department? Four, dumb people stop buying their stuff without asking these things first!!!

A friend of mine added me to a Mom's group. She told me about this post about Mom's complaining about people that smoke in their cars while kids are in there. That they smoke, but not in the car. I said oh add me I will tell them they are dumb. I finally read the post and I was ashamed to be in the same area as these yahoos! Ok so follow me here. 

Mom #1, "First off I want to admit that I am a smoker. I do not smoke in my home or around my daughter. If we are outside I may occasionally have one but if she comes close I move it or put it out. What pisses me off is I have seen so many people driving around with little ones in their car and I see them smoking! How does anyone think that's ok?!?! I think that is so horrible! It is not ok to smoke in the car with your baby/child! I drilled this into my hubby before I had my daughter too because he is a big smoker. I just can't believe it! 

Mom #2 I quit smoking 3 months ago. But when I did smoke I was like you. I always said it was my choice to smoke not my son. I also get so upset when I see that or when you can smell smoke on kids clothing. There is no reason for this!! People need to stop being lazy and selfish!!

In the twelve of so posts after that offer varying agreeing with Mom #1. One mom calls her a "smart smoker" for not smoking in front the her kids. Another said something about agreeing with her 100%. There is one or two that say something about it's her choice to smoke and she shouldn't do it around her kids. That they had parents that smoked non stop and have asthma now because of it. Mom #1 said she has parents that did the same thing, she has asthma and still became a smoker. Another mom said it should be illegal, that she heard something about people being ticketed for smoking with kids in the car. 

OH MY GOSH people!! Really? Just because you do not smoke in the car or in front of your kids does not mean they do not know what is going on. Or that they are not effected by your smoke. Do you change your clothes and take a shower before coming back inside? Do you have all of your windows closed while outside? Do you think that they do not see, when and why you go outside to smoke? Stop thinking that your better than others because your not. You smoke, that means that the chances are your kids are going to smoke. Your shortening your life with them because you smoke. I lost my Mom this year to lung cancer, so I have a front row seat to what your kids see. Stop being so stupid. Smoking is bad, PERIOD.

Ok I think I feel better. That is subject to change if I go back on Facebook though!