A while ago Whitney told us a child at her school called her a mistake. I know this child, her parents and where she lives. Thank God I was in a public place when Whitney told me what this child said, or I would have done something about it. This child told Whitney that, because Chris and I were not married when we made her, she was a mistake. My heart just broke, so I told her. Not ever, not even for one minute has she been a mistake. To never have any doubt in her mind that Chris and I both wanted, and still want her. She is ours to keep, even when she doesn't want us around. Gosh, what do you say to your baby when they tell you something like that?
I thought talking to her about her period and what to expect with that was hard. I thought talking to her about sex was hard, but this. Being told that she was a mistake by some child, that probably was a mistake. Sorry that was my anger talking. What do you say to reassure her that she was, is and always be wanted. She is fifteen and doesn't listen to half of what we tell her. Did she believe me when I told her that we wanted her? Did my anger towards that child come through when I was talking to her? Does she doubt my love for her every time I have to tell over and over to do something? Or when we do not let her do something with her friends? Being a parent is hard. I know there will be a time in my life that I will wish with everything that I could go back to the beginning of the teenage years.
The next thing I am struggling with is what is allowed with the boyfriend? He will come over to hang out and I will let them sit on the same couch. I catch Whitney snuggling into him. I do something to make it stop. They have not kissed, they have held hands and hugged. He is very shy. Which I am grateful for. Whitney has already had her first kiss. A while ago. So I am in no hurry for her to be doing anything else. They are never left alone so that is a little less stressful. I was her age and I know exactly what can happen when left alone. I know there will be a point in her life that she will do things that I am not ready for her to do. I have told her that Chris and I did not come into this marriage pure, and that is not what I want for her. Marriage is hard enough with out having to deal with that.
So what do you say to your child to make sure they know that they were and are wanted? What do you do when you see that they are getting a little to close to the boyfriend or girlfriend? I am so out of my comfort zone.