I hate Mother's DayMother's Day crap is everywhere, "don't forget to send flowers" on the TV, a special on a spa day on the radio, ideas for what to get your Mother all over Facebook! Oh even on my english muffins, WTH! No thank you, I do not want to get into the zoo on Sunday for free. I am so sick of seeing those card commercials also. Wonderful there is going to be a special peter rabbit about him forgetting Mother's Day and having to risk everything to find strawberries. Great, just great. This year much like every other year I wish Mother's Day didn't exist. Every Mother's Day since becoming a Mom, has been a horrible day for me. Not kidding, my very first one, Chris and I got into a very bad fight. The year after that same thing. So ever since I do not have high expectations. Which turns out to be a good thing. One thing or another would happen and I finally just give up on it ever being a good day for me.
When Whitney started school, I started to get excited for the day again. I have this thing with noodle art, I love it. Getting little notes with flowers, hearts or hand prints. I lived for that! That made the day a little bit better. Then after she got older, they stopped doing things for Mother's Day. So I got bummed again. I do remember one while I was pregnant with Avery that ended up being a pretty good day. We all went somewhere for brunch, I had made reservations. It was great to be able to walk right in and be seated, and the food was pretty good. I was feeling great and the weather was good. I think that once we got home I even got to take a nap. On average though the whole Mother's Day thing sucks for me.
This year will be the hardest of all the sucky years before. My Mom passed in January and this is the first "holiday" since her passing. Yup it just had to be Mother's Day. Hey why not, right? The day already sucks for me why not just add to it. I just can not handle anymore of the plan's being made, the time most of my friends get to spend with their not dead Mom's. The little green monster has taken over.
So this is my wish, hope and even plea. If you are not talking to your Mom over something stupid, make up with her. I do not care if she is the one that screwed up. Make a point to forgive. Do not let another day go by with that door to her being closed. If you only knew how much I would give to have that chance. We had a good relationship. That door to my Mom was closed only because I could not talk to her very day, due to her being in the hospital on a vent. I miss my Mom, everyday. There has not been one day that has gone by that I don't want to pick up that phone to talk to her. Or to talk her into coming up for the weekend. To tell her about the girls, Chris, this blog. All the new and different things I have gone in the last year. I don't get to do that. Did I mention that I miss her? I have a lot of I need my Mommy moments. So please if you have your Mom still in your life please give her an extra hug, for me.
I am going to be unplugging from Facebook for the next couple of days. I just can not read or see how happy you are with your Mom's. It's still to fresh for me. I wish all of my family and friends a Happy Mother's Day.